please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
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