it's too hot outside to masturbate.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
