I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
