The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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