enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize