I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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