Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  you left your dildo in my car

  (516): View more from New York

  rules of finders keepers apply

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  (516): you left your dildo in my car (516): rules of finders keepers apply http://tfl.nu/0377
  Replies (20) Good night (3646) Bad night (1380)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?

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  (863): During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart? http://tfl.nu/3xgk
  Replies (26) Good night (7429) Bad night (1175)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?

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  (314): Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me? http://tfl.nu/x7by
  Replies (35) Good night (2496) Bad night (10158)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.

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  (513): I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand. http://tfl.nu/20vi
  Replies (9) Good night (871) Bad night (3374)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?

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  (406): One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts? http://tfl.nu/1591
  Replies (14) Good night (1352) Bad night (4156)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.

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  (630): Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week. http://tfl.nu/dxsu
  Replies (5) Good night (3059) Bad night (1530)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic

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  (410): I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic http://tfl.nu/vj3a
  Replies (4) Good night (2667) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.

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  (920): Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling. http://tfl.nu/jjpj
  Replies (33) Good night (2416) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?

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  (469): Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened? http://tfl.nu/ksd8
  Replies (12) Good night (723) Bad night (1898)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Nobody in the ambulance liked me...

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  (775): Nobody in the ambulance liked me... http://tfl.nu/5rji
  Replies (11) Good night (846) Bad night (1726)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands

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  (845): Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands http://tfl.nu/8ta4
  Replies (6) Good night (1428) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.

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  (406): I have better things to do with my life than be faithful. http://tfl.nu/xz80
  Replies (8) Good night (617) Bad night (1300)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.

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  (937): Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog. http://tfl.nu/gtv2
  Replies (3) Good night (601) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.

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  (484): So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest. http://tfl.nu/3leh
  Replies (0) Good night (544) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal

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  (617): This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal http://tfl.nu/045y
  Replies (1) Good night (795) Bad night (291)

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