ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...

  Fav 15 5882 1365

  share tweet
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  you'll never guess what i found when i got home...

  (928): View more from Arizona

  a cake, in the toilet

  Fav 25 6034 1510

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...

  Fav 8 3624 1497

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face

  Fav 13 4558 1088

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (650): View more from California

  So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back

  (971): View more from Oregon

  You should go to counseling for that

  Fav 6 2248 1479

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.

  Fav 16 896 2259

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI

  Fav 1 1023 712

  share tweet
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league

  Fav 2 1500 616

  share tweet
  

• (747): View more from California

  That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!

  Fav 2 664 1018

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.

  Fav 4 768 516

  share tweet
  

• (707): View more from California

  New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.

  Fav 2 573 1100

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (423): View more from Tennessee

  You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.

  Fav 1 868 495

  share tweet
  

• (805): View more from California

  I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.

  Fav 3 797 566

  share tweet
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag

  Fav 3 125 7

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses

  Fav 1 32 4

  share tweet
  

Randomize