Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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