Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
