at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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