69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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