Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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