Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
