I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize