a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
