I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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