Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
