I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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