My nipple is on Facebook.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
