Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This is my gift to your gina
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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