You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
