Your dad touched me again.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
