it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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