wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
How's work?
Spinning.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
