You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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