she woke up with a sticky ear
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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