Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize