Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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