FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
