You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
