I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
