Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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