Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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