official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
