Say something about gay babies.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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