haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
