Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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