Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize