I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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