if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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