some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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