Pants 0. Shit 1.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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