I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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