Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
