My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
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