You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Non-Jews are for practice
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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