I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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