If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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