So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
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You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
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It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How does one acquire holy water?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize