Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
