While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
