I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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