Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
