I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
3 2 1 whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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