ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
