I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
