Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
