My liver just broke up with me...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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