youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
