if you like me you must not know who I am
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
