Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
