So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
